Review: Astro Boy (Movie)

Astro Boy was a japanese manga series that first appeared in the late 50's and early 60's. It follows the adventures of spiky-haired, androgynous little girl who is really a boy as he battles robots, robot hating humans and aliens. It was one of the first anime series to be recognized outside of Japan as well, so it's pretty much a big deal. When I heard that they would be making an animated film about it, I was skeptical about it. Half-naked boy with rocket boots? That doesn't sit well with most american audiences. Maybe Priests, but not the general public (ahahahahaha...pedophile). But when I saw the trailer for it, I was interested. Not excited, but interested. It seemed that they had changed it for the western audience.

The Good

First of all, it's a film made for kids. Meaning it's got a lot of kiddy stuff. Robots being retarded, stuff like that. Where the humor really shines through is just how completely random it is. One second, everyone's cheering for Astro Boy for saving the floating city, the next second, a giant tentacle alien monster thing shows up out of nowhere and starts blasting everything. I'm not even kidding! I stuck up my arms in the air in confusion! Even when he learns he's got machine guns in his butt! Where does the ammo go, I wonder?

But this isn't a bad thing. Sometimes, being random is funny and Astro Boy pulls that off well. A giant robot is attacking the city, destroying everything. Then 2 robots and a refrigerator show up, yelling about a Robot Revolution. Weird stuff, but hilarious none the less.

The animation was top notch, considering its not by DreamWorks or by Pixar. It's a mix between Meet The Robinsons and...well, let's face it, it's exactly like Meet the Robinsons in terms of style. Nothing's really gonna blow you away here.

I was however blown away by the music. Sure it's your typical heroic theme but it's just so cool to listen to and it just fits....thats, thats all I have to say about it.

The Bad

Pacing...it's got none. Things go by too fast. There were moments that they should have spent a few more extra minutes explaining. For example, Tenma (Astro's 'father') is realizing that his son isn't the same as a robot. But he doesn't even explain to Astro that he is a robot. Or that he even died! That's kind of a big plot point, don't you think? Also, we get the feeling that Astro doesn't always want to be a scientist and just wants to have fun. Tenma thinks he's an entirely different person but in reality, Tenma was just a little negligent and didn't even notice that Astro doesn't like science as much as he thinks.

This is hinted but never explicitly stated. Why? Because some mother would have thrown a hissy fit. An issue that my child will probably talk about when he's older? Outrageous! He's a child! He's supposed to be idiotic and dumb and fat! No talking of serious issues with my child! Bad cartoon! Bad cartoon!

Seriously, I remember Batman, the old-school cartoons with all the death and mayhem. I remember when the Joker was telling his therapist (heheh) about how his dad used the beat him. Broke his arm, was it? Cartoons nowadays have dumbed down for the stupidity of today's youth. They'll talk about these issues when they're older! Why shelter them from it? Better they learn from their parents then from some bum with a knife called Wilson.

Overall

It's fun, it's cute and it's random. If you want any of these, knock yourself out. But it's definitely not a must see. It's more a movie that you watch if you're really bored or really drunk. Personally, I wasn't disappointed in the slightest. And if you can let some shoddy storytelling not ruin your evening, I'm sure you'll find it fun as well. Hell, you can probably get more a kick from it when you're high.

My trips to the Target with the wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

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"Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of 20 funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out."

Review: Dead Space (Video Game)

Yeah, so I finished Dead Space. It was fun. Not particularly scary but fun none the less. I named my Ripper Betty. It shoots spinning saws that tear people to bits. Hilarious. But what really surprised me was how deep the story was. I really enjoyed the last fight with the boss and the giant twist at the end. I felt myself sympathizing with Isaac for a little bit. The presentation was also top notch.

Not much more I can say about it as its a rather old game. Oh well. It's late. I needs sleep.