Review: Sherlock Holmes (Film)

Happy Freaking New Years. I've decided to start this year with a review...because I have no life and I don't wish to spend it in a room filled with old people...which is hard considering I'm in Florida, Old People capital of the US. So let's begin, shall we?

Well, when I first saw the trailers for this movie, I couldn't really say much about it. I knew I would enjoy it because Robert Downey Jr. is just that fun of an actor, even after the drugs. But I didn't know why I would enjoy it. To me, it seemed like it was going to be something of a comedy and crime film. But I couldn't tell which. Was it going to be a serious crime flick with funny moments? Or was it going to be a comedy with a serious crime flick spread around in it like the mixture of peanut butter and jelly (don't know where that came from).

I've got to say, this movie surprised me. Not because it exceeded my expectations but because it blended comedy and seriousness well (something Michael Bay could take a few notes from). It was serious when it needed to be and it was funny when it needed to be and (here's the important part) it worked. It was able to blend the comedy and the serious aspects perfectly and it didn't feel like it detracted from the plot at all.

That said, it's Sherlock Holmes. We're talking about a man who goes around solving every crime that defies all logic and possibilities. There is no way that anyone can not look at this and just laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the entire story. So what exactly am I saying? I have no idea, I'm writing this kind of fast over here while listening to Swanheart by Nightwish and am slowly becoming depressed.

But, what I think I'm trying to say is that this film, when taken as a piece of cinema, mixes the serious well with the comedy. As a adventure movie for the family, it definitely leans more towards the comedy, but not so much that you're laughing at every word coming out of Robert Downey Jr.'s scruffy beard and watch as it drips down his pecs that bulge and twitch and glisten with the water that is slowly being poured down his manly chest by Jude Law in a thong-

Sorry, forgot where I was going with that...

...

I'M NOT GAY.

Anyways, this is definitely a must-see movie. Not because it's greatest film ever made and not because it will wow you like never before. It's because it is a fun movie that doesn't require you to turn off your brain. It's smart and charming, and Robert Downey Jr. gives a performance like Tony Stark in Iron Man. It also stays pretty close to how they were in the novels so if you're a Sherlock Holmes fan, you don't have much to worry about.

In closing, it's fun and I've run out of things to say. Happy New Years.

Akumetsu and the Economy...

About a year ago, I was surfing through OneManga.com and I happened across a little manga by the name of Akumetsu. Intrigued by both the name and the plot summary, I began to read and was taken on one of the most wild rides of my life. And now, nearly a year later, the story of Akumetsu has come to a close and I feel...oddly satisfied.

Akumetsu can be described as Death Note with more balls. It is set in Japan and follows the adventure of a high school student by the name of Shou as he sets out to brutally murder everyone in a vigilante-like manner everyone who is responsible for the current state of Japan's struggling/failing economy. All the while, he wears a demonic mask that blows up his head everytime that he is killed. But here's the kick: he never dies! Or at least, he seems to be able to be in several places at the same time (at one time killing 40 people at the same time and then having their heads blown up. And then there's still more of him!).

The story is roughly 162 chapters (which is a pretty large number considering the manga). And it is just a treat to watch all these people who are purposely putting the economy in jeopardy for their own financial gain. For example, one man received funding for an "express highway" which would in turn give him lots of money. However, it turns out that it would actually take people longer to get to their destination if they took the express highway instead of the normal highway. Suffice it to say, Shou aka Akumetsu straps the man to the top of his car, drives off the end of the unfinished highway, which falls top down on the ground, killing the man instantly.

As you can see, the deaths are quite brutal but that's what makes it so good! Where Death Note had Light being a pussy and giving people heart attacks, Shou/Akumetsu actively goes out of his way to kill these people (in also strangely humorous ways).

I can't help but make connections with our own struggling economy (which I hear is getting better). Would it be cool for someone to go out and kill people responsible for our bad economy? Or should we just make an adaption of this manga?

I thoroughly suggest you read Akumetsu if you have time. You won't regret it and you'll have lots of fun.

Now, I must apparantly eat lunch with my family. My mom's being a whiney annoyance again.

Later!

The Phantom Agony

There are two main things that can motivate any humans into doing something: sex, and the fear of death. Death is scary, even for the fatalists. One minute we’re here and next, we’re gone. The band Epica calls it the Phantom Agony. We don’t think about it much, but when we do, we can’t help but feel completely lost. And even though we generate stories about what happens afterwards, none of us really know what’s going to happen to us. And this scares us. All of us (unless you’re a sociopath with no emotions of your own…in which case you don’t worry about this kind of stuff).

Thoughts?

Review: Assassin's Creed II (Game)

Assassin's Creed was one of those early Xbox360 games that took the world by storm (I guess). Despite every good thing I can say about it (shit-load of fun, awesome historical accuracy and intriguing story), the game was plagued repetitiveness. The game basically had all the missions being the exact same mission just with different people assassinated.

Not so with Assassin's Creed II, the god-sent sequel of the year.

The story continues with Ezio Auditore da Firenze, (Italians basically put where they were born in their name. So its Ezio of the Auditore family from Florence), a descendent of the badass assassin, Altair. But wait! That's not entirely true! You are actually Desmond Miles, who is accessing his DNA to view the memories of Ezio! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Anyways, the shit hits the fan for this young assassin when his father and brothers are killed for treason, framed by the Templars (those catholic bastards). So, young Ezio goes on a quest for vengeance while trying to unravel the secrets of the Templar's plot.

First of all, the sequel completely and utterly kills the first one in every way. This game is much more story oriented, so it loses that aspect of open world that the first one was known for. But that isn't a bad thing at all. You can still pursue missions at your leisure, you just have only one story-based mission at a time.

Not much more I can say about it, really. Everything that is Assassin's Creed is in this game, there's just more of it. Instead of one hidden blade, you have two. Instead of one side weapon, you have a sword and a knife. Instead of throwing knives, you have throwing knives, smoke bombs, a pistol, a poison blade, and so much more. You can just kill people in thousands of different ways, which adds more variety of the mission.

That's not to say its like Fable 2, which was just a complete upgrade of Fable 1 with nothing new. What it lacked in the first Creed, it completely makes up for in the second Creed. Remember when you could only blend with monks? Now you can blend in with any crowd larger than 2 people. Which makes it interesting when your being chased. You just run into a crowd and they lose you. You could be standing right in front of them and they won't see you. It's really funny!

Anything bad in the game? Two things. First, a bunch of glitches and bugs that I found, such as model pop-in, where as your walking along, people and objects pop into the game seemingly from nowhere. Also, when I'm walking along, if I come across a bump larger than 2 inches, the game suddenly makes me peer over the edge like I'm on top of a building. Minor, I know, but it's noticeable. Second bad thing. THOSE MOTHERFUCKING MINSTRELS!!!!! Ubisoft, the beggers and lepers were annoying the first game! What makes you think having a bunch of Minstrels run up to you and block your path won't be annoying?! AND THEY COME IN SWARMS!

That's it. In all actuality, this is probably the most fun you'll have with a game ever. Granted, you must! MUST! Play the first game before you play the second. You will be lost in all manner of the term. Plus, the ending was...just out there. Confusing because it brings up more questions than it answers. But that's okay, because hopefully they bring it up in the third one (which you know there'll be).

I wholeheartedly recommend Assassin's Creed II. You will enjoy the experience.

Cheers.