Review: Kick-Ass (film)

So, I just got back from watching the movie Kick-Ass and instead of writing that 12-page essay that's due tomorrow, I'm instead writing this review of the movie. And no, I will not utter that popular catch-phrase "Kick-Ass KICKS A-!" I won't. I refuse.

The story is pretty much your average run-of-the-mill superhero movie. Guy becomes superhero, guy saves the day. One would think this is the case. They would be wrong. Instead, we get this almost parody of the entire superhero mythos. It is, in all sense of the word, a real take on the superhero. There are people who use guns, knives and our hero gets stabbed in the gut at the very first instance.

It's bloody, it's violent and it's real. Gritty and everything one could want from a superhero movie. It really shows that superheroes can never really exist as they do in comic books. However, they can exist and that is what this movie is ultimately trying to prove. If it's actually saying anything at all.

The characters are real, with the titular Kick-Ass being your average school geek who is suddenly thrust into a world of violence when he dons the superhero outfit. There's Hit-Girl, who is my personal favorite, an 11-year-old ninja-like character who loves to shoot and kill people. There's Big-Daddy, played strangely enough by Nicholas Cage, who just loves to kill people. Then Red Mist, but he's not very memorable.

I read something on the internet about how mother's were offended by Hit-Girl swearing left and right and even saying the word "cunt" a few times. So, they weren't offended by the fact that she was killing everyone? Hm.

There's a love story in there, but its resolved so poorly and quickly that it's just bad storytelling. But it's so unnoticeable that you ignore it.

In short, this movie is awesome, its fun and you should watch it.

Back to the essay.

Idiot Sightings

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell

and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind

the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry,

but they only had iceburg lettuce.

-- From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,

'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer inWichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

The Qualifications for President

In a Purdue University government class, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty simple the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it all in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating,

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"

Yep, and these are the same 18 to 30 year-olds that elected obama President.

And don't forget, "They walk among us!"

Something I told my dear friend over IM...

have you noticed how silent i can be?

believe me when i say it's hell

because when you're silent you're left with only yourself

people desperately want connections with others around them

they envy them

they want to talk to them

but their mouths won't work anymore

they've spent too much time silent

so they spend the rest of their lives outside looking in

it's hell

you don't want that

talk even when people aren't listening

talk especially when they don't want to hear

because when you're no longer able to speak you're committing yourself to the deepest darkest place in existence

place where no man should ever go

so don't ever wish to be silent

...

i'm done

Review: Clash of the Titans (film)

Clash of the Titans is a re-make of a 1980s film about the adventures of a demigod Perseus as he saves a city from the kraken, kills the gorgon Medusa and a bunch of other things that greek mythology is known for. Along the way, he fights demons, monsters, tries to bang some hot chicks but fails miserably. Ah, well.

Anyhoo, I have just returned from the trip and I have to say, it isn't bad. A little rough around the edges but still enjoyable. The action sequences were done phenomenally well, the adherence to greek mythology is done pretty well and the immensity of the kraken is just awesome.

That said, there are a couple of things that are just thrown together at the last minute. Halfway through the movie, we encounter the Gin (or Jin, or whatever the hell they're called) and this may be the weakest part of the movie. Being an original creation, they serve no purpose other than to heal Perseus' poisoned arm, and die. Yup. That's it. Don't really remember that part in mythology but okay.

Io's character is also pretty bland. She, of course, plays the beautiful, mysterious woman who guides Perseus on his journey. But, considering she's immortal and can't age, she just comes off as a stalker, watching and following Perseus since he was a wee babe. Creepy.

Another thing I thought was lacking was actual contribution from the Gods. We see them but only 4 gods actually talk throughout the entire movie. I mean, just have Ares say "Hi!" and I would be fine! Then again, Liam Neeson is Zeus and I would bear his children.

Acting was so-so. For an action movie, there is only so much that I can say about acting that isn't really needed. I mean, Sylvester Stallone only said like 5 lines in Rambo and it was still a hit. So let's move on.

There's an underlying theme of Man vs. Gods that gets kind of diminished underneath the CGI. But when it comes along, it comes heavy (figuratively speaking). As I watched, one thought kept popping into my mind: "This the ultimate Atheist movie." So I got along fine.

What else can I say? It's a fun ride with interesting twists. If you've seen the original (and you remember it) this one is vastly different in terms of plot, characters and characterization. It follows the same structure but differs in major parts. Bubo, that mechanical owl, is gone (thank god). He's there for a second and only as a joke. Which was kind of out of place, really.

As a final thought, Medusa was hot. HOOOOOOOT! I would do her if I was petrification proof.

Done.