Saw Transformers the other day. It was alright, I guess. I guess if you're into that whole giant robots beating the shit out of each other, you'll enjoy it. If you're looking for depth and a deep compelling story, you can do a hell of a lot better than Transformers.
(I'll be doing this review a little bit differently. I'll just say the good and the bad and skip the plot synopsis as it's not really needed).
The Good
Michael Bay finally learned how to do a freaking wide-shot. In other words, if you were nauseated by the camera being constantly up close during the fight and moving, you won't be in this film. Every action scene is tremendously well done and done mainly from a distance so you can see everything, which is refreshing.
On that note, the action scenes are extremely top-notch and amazing. What really struck me was the sheer brutality of the fights. Here are some examples of what happens:
- Bumblebee grabs a Zoid's (mini robot thingy) tail and tears his spinal cord out.
- Optimus Prime rips off a robot's face.
- Bumblebee grabs a Decepticon's arms (both of them) and rips them the fuck off.
- Sideswipe shoots a blade-thingy into Sideways, grabs the blade and slices him in half.
...you get the idea.
It should be noted that Optimus Prime is a complete and utter badass in this movie. I don't know if he's just frustrated from so many Decepticons on the planet or whatever, but he was such a badass that I almost expected him to start cussing out Megatron, calling him his "bitch" and spanking him on the ass. His fights are always brutal that it almost seems out of character but you like it. He even takes on three Decepticons at the same time. THREE! Megatron, Starscream and a helicopter dude that I thought died in the first one. They just get their asses handed to them!
There is also a shit-load of comedic relief characters in this movie and the two that stand out are the Twins, Mudflap and Skids, or as I like to call them, the Black Stereotype Brothers. I don't know, something about a robot calling a human a pussy and a little bitch is just hilarious. And before you get all into the controversy about how the stereotypes are bad lets look at one thing:
Mudflap is voiced by the guy who voices Spongebob Squarepants.
And another thing people, the fact that they are racial stereotypes is what I find hilarious. It's not meant to demean people in anyway. They're just fun to listen to and great characters.
The Bad
The story made no sense. Before the movie came out, I happened upon the plot and thought it would be great getting into the history of the Transformers and being introduced by the first Decepticon, the Fallen. And it was touched upon...briefly. Other than the mere mention, the story didn't say anything else, making the story about as deep as Bugs Bunny cartoon.
Once again, the focus is on the humans and although it is nice to see the humans actually doing something for a change (they take out a giant robot with a rail gun, for one), they ultimately take the attention away and slow the story down.
Speaking of which, Shia LeBeouf is there...again doing his ad-libbing thing that we all seem to love so much. But ultimately, he takes all the danger out of a situation. When he is chased by a Pretender woman thingy, we get literally two minutes of Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf arguing and being funny. This happens right before the woman blasts through the wall, which makes it seem a lot less dangerous as it should have been. His ad-libbed scenes ultimately take the danger out of any situation, including a situation that Megatron could have shut him up easily by snapping his twig arm.
On that note, there are so many comedic reliefs in this movie that it really derails the story several times. Here's a list:
- Mudflap and Skids (though they do pull through in the end and are hilarious)
- Wheelie (funny as hell, though disappears in the end)
- Leo, Sam's "friend" (SOMEBODY SHUT THIS KIDS FUCKING MOUTH BEFORE I SNAP HIS TWIG NECK IN HALF!!!! I wanted to scream)
- John Turturro (that Sector 7 guy who is just disturbing. He plays a role in the end but it could have easily have been played by someone else and should have been)
- Sam's parents (they're funny as ever though they are supposed to play a serious role in the end, which doesn't work)
- Jetfire (ESPECIALLY when we're introduced to him)
Michael Bay...I know you're trying to appeal to all audiences...BUT WHAT THE HELL??!?!?!?!!?!? This movie could have easily have passed off as a comedy! I understand that you were trying to add humor to a film and that's fine! It spices it up a bit! But seriously, this is supposed to be an action film, not a comedy! You can have comedy in there AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T DETRACT FROM THE PLOT AND ACTION! The reason this movie is so long is because half of it is just meaningless comedy that didn't need to be there! You cut out all the danger and villainy in the movie by making people laugh!
There's one scene with the Devastator (that giant monster thing that sucks up all the sand and is basically a Power Ranger thingy) where he is climbing up a pyramid being all mean and badass and evil. Until...we see he as a pair of wrecking balls...for balls...
Seriously, Michael Bay? Are you serious?
This thing was badass, gigantic and evil. I could almost see the danger and feel the evil emanating from it. Then you decided to give a pair of metal, clanging balls and all the danger was gone. I no longer cared if it killed the main character because I knew it wouldn't. There was no way that an evil robot with a pair of balls would ever, ever kill the main characters.
Another thing that I hated was how there was barely any interactions between the Autobots or the Transformers in general. We are introduced to all these cool and kickass robots but they hardly get any speaking time. Sideswipe, for instance, is this awesome blade wielding robot, but he hardly gets any speaking time! We are introduced to three, sexy robot chicks that are actually one robot entity in three bodies named Arcee. I was fully prepared for Arcee and Bumblebee to get some relationship thing going on or something, something! Instead, she says one line in the end and we never even see her face!
Basically, its a movie about humans featuring the Transformers as a side act. They have yet to realize that we don't give a flying fuck about the humans! We entered the movie theater expecting one and one thing only: big fucking robots beating the shit out of each other. Instead we got sick love triangle between the main characters, something about the two people telling each other they love each other and a leg humping Decepticon that disappears at the end is never seen again.
That's another thing: at the end, we never see the Autobots again! The ending scene is basically Optimus Prime and Sam talking and we don't even know what happened to the other Autobots! It looked like Ironhide was blown up, Arcee was shot to hell and whole bunch of other shit, but we don't know if they survive! I assume they do but we don't see it! You can't have the audience assume the good guys survive, you have to let us know! I'm in agony over here!
As I mentioned before, Michael Bay backed off on the camera but in essence, I think this lost the intensity that was prevalent in the first film. Everything that was supposed to be big and badass didn't come across as such. Maybe I was just so used to this kind of thing that I just accepted the thing and moved on. It didn't surprise me so I wasn't blown away.
Another problem that hasn't been fixed: I can't focus on the characters because they are computer generated. It's very hard to focus on two robots fighting each other because they're computer generated and eye can't focus on them. When Bumblebee was ripping a Zoid's spinal cord out, I was focused on Bumblebee the entire time because he was bright yellow and the Zoid was a dark gray. My eyes immediately jumped to the bright yellow that I didn't even know he was ripping the spinal cord out until he was almost done.
Basically, I can't even remember the fights because I couldn't focus on them. It wasn't as nauseating as the first one but I wasn't as blown away because I expected it and as such, wasn't blown away by it.
Overall
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a great movie. Despite all the bad things I've said, it really is just a fun movie and it should definitely be watched as soon as possible. The story isn't as top-notch as it could have been and it isn't as particularly deep as it could have been. We are introduced to characters that you feel have history but you don't get it and you are also introduced to characters that never even say anything. Plus, the comedy is over the top and although welcome, it sometimes detracts from the main plot. The fights are amazing and well done but I found it hard to focus on the fights themselves because they're all CGI characters and there are too many moving parts. Other than that, if you can over look all these things, you will have a good time as it really is just mindless fun.
Cheers.
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