Hollywood Butchery

People who know me shouldn't be surprised when I say that I love anime and manga. Sure, they're more or less cartoons, but they are in fact art (not like the crap Cartoon Network is vomiting forth), and some of my favorite mangas on an artistic level are Berserk, Vagabond, One Piece, and many others that I can't think of right now. One of my all-time favorites is the classic anime and manga, Akira.

During the 1980s and early 90s, America became bombarded by several anime that had found their way over from Japan, most of which became hugely successful, such as Ghost in the Shell, and of course, Akira, with Akira constantly making many of the top 100 or top 10 lists of best movie or animations and what not. Kanye West even took several aspects of the film and incorporated it into his music video for 'Stronger' (take that fact for what it's worth). Many critics agree that Akira is one of the landmark movies in animation, both for it's technical aspects as well as an engaging story.

Akira told the tale of two members of a motorcycle gang, Tetsuo and Keneda, with Keneda being the leader. During one of their nights of delinquencies, Tetsuo accidently crashes into what looks like an old man but with a child-like body. The man, however, is unharmed, having not even been touched by the crash. Tetsuo is suddenly abducted by the military with no explanation as to why.

While Keneda and friends try to figure out what's going on, Tetsuo is forced to undergo several experiments due to his interaction with the old man, revealed to be Subject 14 (I think, I'm telling this all from memory), part of a project to release human potential in the mind. As a result, Tetsuo gains access to tremendous psychic abilities, which he uses to escape and plans on using it to support his own inferiority complex.

That's just the beginning, of course. If you want to know what happens next, watch the movie. I understand that there is a relatively better english dub of it that came out in 2006, though you should watch it in Japanese first, it's so much better. And if you like the movie, check out the manga. Both have the same basic plot but each differ in the end, since the movie came out before the manga was technically finished.

Why am I talking about this? Because I wish to expose a rather large problem with this. Akira is extremely popular and because of this, Hollywood has decided that it's time to milk out some money. So they have decided to make a two part, live-action movie that tells the story of the Akira manga. Fine, this could be good, I said. But then I slowly began to become enraged by the next set of facts.

Zac Effron has been offered a lead role in the movie. Well, I told myself, that's not exactly a good move to cast a teen heartthrob as a gritty, motorcycle guy who spends his nights attempting to kill people with lead pipes. And if he's Tetsuo, he doesn't exactly scream threatening when he's crushing people's heads with his mind. But he may surprise me, I honestly haven't seen him in any movies, I just know him by reputation. Besides, the movie hasn't been green-lighted yet, it's still in development hell. There's still time, right?

Then Morgan Freeman was offered the role of the Colonel in charge of the project. Hells to the yeah! Morgan Freeman! This is getting good!

The guys who directed The Book of Eli are in negotiations to direct the film. Well, I haven't seen the Book of Eli, but it seemed like an action flick. Not sure if they'll be able to convey the philosophical themes of the manga but whatevs! I can dig it.

The film will be rated PG-13.

What? No. Really? No! I refuse! No! They can't do that! They can't adapt Akira, which is quite gritty and bloody, I might add, and try to make it PG-13! There's a reason for the blood and gore! It's supposed to convey the idea that power corrupts and can hurt the people you love! An idea that Tetsuo learns at the end! They canNOT do this to Akira!

Now, I know that the only reason they would want to turn it into PG-13 is because they want to attract a bigger audience and I can live with that! I understand that! But it's cheap and disgusting when you want to convey ideas when you're limited to what you can and cannot show! Yes, blood and gore is not for everyone. But if there's a reason for it, then the audience can understand it. Look at Saving Private Ryan, continually a pretty gory movie. Why? Steven Spielberg wanted to convey the realism of war.

So, I have pretty much lost my faith in the Akira movie being any good. I'm still going to watch it but I'm pretty sure I'm going to leave in tears. But I guess it can't be as bad as Dragon Ball: Evolution, can it?

Oh god, it can...

Also, apparently Oldboy is being remade to suit the American audience. That movie's not even a decade old! All they need to do is pull a Quentin Tarantino Presents thing and show it in the theater's as is! Seriously! It will make money! Look at Hero with Jet Li! that was a Quentin Tarantino Presents thing and it was #1 at the box office!

Americans always go on about racial equality but I seriously think it's a huge slap to the face for foreign filmmakers when they want to remake a movie that has been labelled by CNN as one of the greatest asian films of all time. And no, I don't want to hear about how the movie was shown at the most inappropriate time because it's a good movie and I'm a little sick and tired of not being able to be myself when it makes people uncomfortable and stuff. What the hell do I care?

But that's a different story, one that you will never hear ever again.

In short, Hollywood makes me cry sometimes...