Review: Immortals (Film)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<
King Hyperion declares war on the Gods and seeks the Epirus Bow, the only weapon that can free the Titans from Mount Tartarus. Zeus, unable to interfere with humans as a God, chooses Theseus as the champion of the Gods. Theseus seeks vengeance on Hyperion for the murder of his mother and must stop him before he unleashes the Titans.

That's about as trimmed down of a plot as I can make it and really, that is all that happens. This, however, is not a criticism. The fact that you can take such a simple plot and make it so enjoyable makes this a rather interesting movie.

But let's back up for a minute. The film is directed by Tarsem Singh. Not a very well known director, he has three movies to his name, The Cell, The Fall and now Immortals. He is known, however, for being rather surreal and a very visual director, with The Fall, I'm told being "very beautiful." And that shows true in Immortals, where every shot in the film looks like it's a painting. With bright colors and slow motion ala Zack Snyder, every scene is a painting.

That said, Tarsem Singh is a surrealist and he is really in your face about it. A lot of the costumes are really bizarre, from Hyperion and his army's clothing, to the Oracles' funny headdresses. Singh lays his cards out on the table, however, because the first scene is the Titans biting down on a metal rod while trapped in a box. That's really what it is. Theseus even mentions it in the film, saying that the Priest has a "funny hat." This may put you off at first, but it's pretty sparse and you get used to it pretty early on.

Now, onto the story. It's as predictable as you can possible make it. Think Clash of the Titans than you'll know just what's going on, except picture it going very, very slowly. It's a good 30 minutes that feels like 45 minutes of exposition before Theseus' mother is killed and he is forced into action. This kind of dragging on serves a purpose of introducing Zeus, Theseus, Hyperion and the Oracle/love interest-who's-name-I-can't-recall. Lots of characters, lots of ground to cover, so I didn't mind. Mainly because I'm used to and even prefer long beginnings (I love Stanley Kubrick, the King of Slow). But to the main action audience that this is marketed towards, it can be offputting.

And now the action. Have you seen 300? Or any Zack Snyder movie after Dawn of the Dead? Yeah, you know what's coming next. BUT! The main difference is how it's handled. Sure there are moments that are slow, but Singh doesn't rely on it like Snyder does. Instead, he does this very interesting thing where a character will be killing people, and the people he kills move in slow motion. Lemme paint a picture: Ares comes down and kicks a guy over a company of men. This guy starts flying in slow motion over his men as Ares goes to each man and bashes their heads in, causing them to explode. These explosions, after Ares goes to the next guy, continue on in slow motion. So, you've got a room of people whose heads are slowly exploding, a guy flying through the air and Ares with his funny ass hat killing people. It's really cool visually.

And here is the main thing I had with the movie: I wanted to know more about the Gods. If this film was told specifically from the point of view of the Gods, that would have been more interesting. The interplay between the Gods was very interesting to watch and the action scenes were very cool stylistically. The last fight between the Titans and the Gods is so cool with the Titans being killed in slow motion as the Gods move at lightning speeds. In fact, I would say that the plot with Theseus was rather a way to move the side-plot of the Gods forward.

However, the plot with Theseus, though predictable, is still fun to watch. The action scenes are very interesting and unique. In one part of the a long fight down a hallway (in one shot without any cuts, btw), I'm pretty sure he stabs a spear through one guy, breaks the staff, stabs another guy with the broken staff, breaks that staff again, and then kills a third guy. It literally passes you buy and you don't notice it unless you're really watching. And that's what this movie demands: that you really watch it.

Still, it's not without it's faults. The Gods and Titans seem a little bit small compared to how their myths depict them. The Titans all look the same when they were all very different. The only Gods I recognized was Zeus, Athena, and Poseidon. The Ares guy I mentioned earlier killing people in fast/slow motion? Could have been Apollo for all I knew. He did have a funny headdress that looked like the rays of the sun. The romance is unnecessary only for the last scene to make sense. The comical thief character whose name I can't remember is...well, you know what I man.

But I enjoyed it. Even in 3D, it interesting and different. I kind of hope they make a sequel, which is alluded to, of course. I want to see more like this.